Misadventures in Automated Bathrooms

Ah, the automated bathroom. In several ways, it's a good thing. Need to wash your hands? Just put your hands near the sensor & out comes the water without the need for touching a nasty faucet handle.

Same thing for automated paper towel dispensers & air dryers. Just put your hands near the sensor & out comes the paper towel or the air, all without touching a germ-ridden lever or button.

But the automated toilet is whole other beast entirely. What is it with automated toilets? Below are some steps you may go through with an automatic toilet.

1. Grab your disposable seat cover, tear along the perforations & place on the seat. You want to be sanitary, right?
2. The flap in the bowl or your own movement causes the toilet to flush before your tush hits the seat.
3. If you were fortunate enough to stand back up in time, you may choose to repeat step 1
4. Which may lead to step two.
5. You may choose to repeat all the above steps or give up on the seat cover in desperation.
6. You may try your best to just hover over the seat. Or if you're like me, you won't have the strength to do this.
7. The toilet may also flush while you're sitting, sending the spray high into your . . . never mind.

You see what I mean? Craziness ensues! One thing I have learned is to tear out the flap completely, that way, when the toilet flushes, it doesn't suck down the whole seat cover.